


Gonna Be Fine (But Maybe Not Tonight)

by CatherineA



Series: After [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Lily Evans Potter Lives, Worry, christmas 1996, tonks and lily would obviously have been best friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:21:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21753673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatherineA/pseuds/CatherineA
Summary: If anyone would have told Tonks a few years ago that she would soon call Lily Potter one of her best friends, Tonks would have thought they were quite mad. She had never met Lily Potter, and she hadn’t had any plans to.War, she has since discovered, doesn’t particularly care what plans you have.An AU in which Lily Potter survives the first war - and of course she and Tonks eventually become friends. Set during Christmas 1996.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter & Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
Series: After [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556722
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	Gonna Be Fine (But Maybe Not Tonight)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Delilah" by Florence + the Machine.
> 
> This is part of my After series in which Lily survives Voldemort's attack. I imagine she and Tonks would have gotten along really well, especially in more of a fun context than this oneshot. 
> 
> Anyway, I would love to hear your comments - including any other ideas you have for this series.

“I know Remus talks to you,” says Tonks quietly. 

Lily gives her a long look out of the corner of her eye before responding. “Tonks…”

If anyone would have told Tonks a few years ago that she would soon call Lily Potter one of her best friends, Tonks would have thought they were quite mad. She had never met Lily Potter, and she hadn’t had any plans to.

War, she has since discovered, doesn’t particularly care what plans you have. 

“He probably actually writes to you, too.”

Lily sighs and wipes her hands on a dishtowel, glancing into the Burrow’s sitting room. They have convinced Molly Weasley to let them handle cleaning up Christmas dinner. Everyone is gathered around the radio, chatting, and no one is paying the two of them any attention. Tonks already knows this, of course, or she would never have broached the subject with Lily in the first place.

“We might as well sit,” says Lily. Tonks follows her over to the dining room table and falls into one of the chairs. She suddenly finds she can’t really look at Lily. 

“Is he alright?” Tonks asks before she can talk herself out of it. She’s always assumed Lily knows about her relationship with Remus, given the long friendship between Remus and Lily. And Tonks just needs to know he’s alive, considering he hasn’t responded to a single one of her letters. “I can’t get a word from him except when he shows up to a random Order meeting. Molly mentioned he was invited to Christmas –“

Lily touches her arm, cutting her off. “As far as I know, he’s fine. I doubt I know much more than you do, though.”

Tonks sighs, and Lily draws her hand away. “I’m sorry, I just – I worry,” says Tonks.

“I know. I do, too.” 

Tonks looks at her again. She hesitates, but something in Lily’s understanding expression encourages her to go on. “What has he told you?” she asks.

Lily hesitates. Lily has called Remus and Sirius her best friends for so many years. After Sirius… well, it had been hard on everyone. Tonks hadn’t been quite sure how to help Remus or Lily through their grief, and coping with her own grief felt selfish – she had only truly known Sirius for a year, after all. 

“He must tell you things,” mumbles Tonks. She feels childish under Lily’s steady gaze, but Lily’s nod gives Tonks the smallest bit of confidence. 

“He’s told me you’ve been seeing each other,” Lily says slowly. “From what I’ve deduced things aren’t great between you two right now.”

Tonks can barely breathe. “Have you seen him? Since Dumbledore sent him off?”  
“I have.”  
Tonks feels her cheeks go warm and isn’t sure whether it’s due to anger or relief. It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t know how to answer Lily. Instead of trying to find words, she simply nods, looking away again. 

“Hey.” Tonks’s head snaps up in surprise as Lily grabs her hand. Lily nods twice, a small, sad smile on her lips, and squeezes Tonks’s hand. “Listen. First of all, Remus will be fine. He knows what he’s doing, and Dumbledore wouldn’t have sent him if he didn’t think it would make a difference. Secondly, he will come to his senses. I don’t know the details, and I’m not asking for them, but don’t give up. I can guess that it’s probably nothing you’ve done wrong, based on my general understanding of Remus’s personality. He’s never talked about anyone the way he talks about you, Tonks. He’s just processing a lot right now. We all are. And I’m almost certain that the reason he isn’t contacting you is that he doesn’t want to put you in any danger.”

“I’m an auror –“ Tonks starts, but Lily cuts her off. 

“I know. And a brilliant one. But he loves you, and that changes things.”

The word always catches Tonks off guard, and she pauses to collect her thoughts before she follows up. “But he loves you – I know in a different way,” she amends before Lily can cut her off, “but you’re so close, and he still contacts you.”

Lily shrugs helplessly, that small smile still on her face. “Because he wouldn’t stay sane if he couldn’t contact anyone, and if he is too scared to put you in danger, I’m pretty much his only option able to keep him from insanity.”

Tonks swallows. Nods. Tries to collect herself. They are in the middle of the war, and she shouldn’t be using energy worrying about her relationship. She’s an auror. She has a job to do. And she’ll do it. But she will worry about Remus, too.

“Just… please tell him to at least write me back.”

“I can try.” 

Tonks lets out a breath that she hadn’t realized she was holding. “Thank you,” she mumbles to Lily, shooting her a grateful smile. Lily has never treated Tonks like a child the way that some members of the Order do (she shares Tonks’s love for the Weird Sisters and the Hollyhead Harpies, after all), and it is reassuring to hear Lily acknowledge her fears. “Sorry for the mini panic attack.”

“You’re welcome,” says Lily, glancing into the sitting room. “You can talk to me any time, you know that. No need to apologize.”

Tonks nods and stands, and Lily does too. Tonks hesitates when she realizes Lily’s smile has faded somewhat. She’s watching Harry and the others in the sitting room, worry clearly written on her face as much as Tonks’s. 

“Hey,” says Tonks, and Lily turns back to her. “You can talk to me, too.”

Lily laughs softly. “Thanks, Tonks.”

In the end, they decide to make enough homemade hot chocolate for everyone, from one of James’s mother’s recipes, and they all sip it while listening to Molly’s favorite Christmas program. For just a few hours, the war feels a bit further away than usual.

Even so, Tonks still can’t help but worry.


End file.
